Keeping the ordinary....

Every time I have a day off, I feel like I have to plan something "special' for my kids. We have to have an outing, or make a treat, or do something unusual. It has to be a "special" day because mom's home. We have to celebrate this somehow.

I hate this....Not that there is anything wrong with making every day special, but it sometimes feels like I'm competing for their attention and affection. Like I have to "perform" for them to love me, to be their favorite. The babysitter or teacher or Dad do fun things with them, therefore I can't just sit there a make them fold laundry, right?

I realize this is not unique to working moms....I have divorced friends who have told me the same thing. On their weekend they feel like they can't stay home and clean the house, because then the kids won't want to be with them (or so they feel. )

But really, it's not what I want for my kids. I want them to have normal, routine, commonality. Chores, play with toys, take a nap, make dinner.....Normal......

Fear? Yeah, it's fear. I admit it. I am afraid they will like the babysitter more than me. I'm afraid that they will cheer on the mornings mom has to work. I'm afraid that my absence will make then need/want me less.

Fear sucks......

Focus:
1. more organized
2. less fear
3. keeping the normal

Give It If You've Got It....

THIS is how I know God knows me and loves me. He sent me, Mrs. Type A, high strung, bordering on OCD, a large quantity of serenity. My serenity come in the form of friends. I have ended up with these amazing, calm, serene, glowing friends. God knew I'd need settling.....

So a few weeks ago, I met one such friend for breakfast (toting a combined 4 of our 6 kiddos...). French bistro, French toast, French fruit, French Hot Cocoa.....Let the warm fuzzy feelings flow.

But warm and fuzzy I was not. Frazzled was more like it. It was the week before starting my full time job. Emotions were raw---the usual suspects present---doubt, guilt, anger, anticipation, fear...the whole gang was there......But then she said it....

"You know, this is your gift. Your family needs something right now and you can give it to them. Working right now if your gift to them. Not every mom can give that."

I don't work for bigger house, a boat, extravagant vacations, or jewels. I work to pay off bills that burden us. To help build some security and "cushion" for crisis. I work so my husband can build his career and eventually take over all of this need. I work because when we prayed about what to do, my Heavenly Father sent me this opportunity and the Spirit confirmed I should take it. This is truly my gift to my family.....one of many, I hope, but the one that was needed now.

This gift is for you......


Focus:
1. God-sent friends.
2. Viewing work as a gift to my family.
3. Good food.