Monday, March 8, 2010

Keeping the ordinary....

Every time I have a day off, I feel like I have to plan something "special' for my kids. We have to have an outing, or make a treat, or do something unusual. It has to be a "special" day because mom's home. We have to celebrate this somehow.

I hate this....Not that there is anything wrong with making every day special, but it sometimes feels like I'm competing for their attention and affection. Like I have to "perform" for them to love me, to be their favorite. The babysitter or teacher or Dad do fun things with them, therefore I can't just sit there a make them fold laundry, right?

I realize this is not unique to working moms....I have divorced friends who have told me the same thing. On their weekend they feel like they can't stay home and clean the house, because then the kids won't want to be with them (or so they feel. )

But really, it's not what I want for my kids. I want them to have normal, routine, commonality. Chores, play with toys, take a nap, make dinner.....Normal......

Fear? Yeah, it's fear. I admit it. I am afraid they will like the babysitter more than me. I'm afraid that they will cheer on the mornings mom has to work. I'm afraid that my absence will make then need/want me less.

Fear sucks......

1. more organized
2. less fear
3. keeping the normal

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