So today, I had to work. I haven't started the full time gig yet, but was scheduled for my part time gig. Left with lots of kisses, lots of hugs, and a house full of people who were going to spend the day cleaning the house, working on science fair, and watching Phineas and Ferb.
Apparently cabin fever hit. In a big way....Jack-in-the Box came first, followed by a jaunt down to the local mall where Pretty Princess and The Scientist each got turns on the Bungee Bounce...Think harness attached to bungee cords over a trampoline. The kids have wanted to try it for months. We've seen them everywhere, with huge lines of cranky kids attached. Usually we come across them close to someone naptime or bedtime.
They were so excited...details flowed,...they could hardly talk. I wanted to be excited for them. I really did. But, instead, I was trying hard not to cry. (Seriously, how selfish is that. Bad, mom, bad.) I missed it. I wanted to see them and I missed it.
It suddenly hit home that that's not all I'll be missing soon. Lost teeth, owies, funny jokes, songs...I won't be here......Sweet Angel learning new words, how to blow kisses...someone else will probably witness it all. I've got probably a 50/50 chance.
It sucks. I've missed it before and it sucks.
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