Did ya miss me?

I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately. Obsessing a bit perhaps.

Do I want my kids to miss me? How much?

I called Brutus this afternoon to see how the girls were. Pretty Princess painted sticks and used them to practice counting and didn't want to eat her lunch. Sweet Angel had fun playing with the babysitters sweet kids......and didn't want to leave.

What?

Apparently, Sweet Angel cried and threw a tantrum when Brutus tried to take her home.

Enter--Rational Mom
"Oh, how wonderful!. She's already settled in and enjoying being
at the babysitters. She is obviously having fun and being treated well.
Yeah!"

Oh, wait.. I forgot...I'm not Rational Mom. Therefore the conversation --in my head -- went more like this.....
"What? Why? Doesn't she remember me? Doesn't she remember
home? Does she love the babysitter more than me? Is she
distancing herself from me so soon? This is only day 2!"

I bought some mini-M&M's...And a chocolate milk...

Thus, the conflict. Naturally, I don't want my kids to be miserable when I'm at work. I want them to be happy. I want her to like the babysitter and her kids and have fun and play and laugh. I want Pretty Princess to enjoy preschool and focus on things there. I want them all to have fun and take advantage of the extra time they're having with their dad. Most kids don't have that. They won't have it forever. It's nice.

But, I fear being replaced by babysitters, teachers, coaches....even Brutus. I fear losing touch, being distanced, having our bond weakened. I'm petrified of Sweet Angel not being a mommy's girl. I've never had one of those...I LOVE it. I don't want to lose it.

I want to not have to think about this any more tonight.......